All's Fair in Love and War
by Gumo
Summary: Grinning, Sasuke went on, "You have such a girly voice, it isn't even cracking yet. How much longer until your balls drop?". AU. GENDAH BENDAH.


Another story. Now with 75% less teenaged angst, but the same 100% of absurdity.

Yes, Hinata is taller and heavier than Sasuke. DEAL WITH IT. Its the only way she'd be able to fit in a males only school. Otherwise, it would definitely set off a red flag- she's too damn cute.

* * *

Hyuuga sighed as she placed the paper riddled with red marks face down on her desk, expression deadpanning. She palmed her forehead lightly, feeling inadequate. Short hair so shiny black it was nearly blue parted as she did so.

She placed her hand down and turned her head to look at the person's test next to her, hoping she wasn't the only disappointment. She sat next to dark haired boy with pale skin and hair that stuck up in the back. She didn't know his name, however, since she was fairly new to this school altogether. She had transferred only three days before, previously home schooled. Her neighbor didn't acknowledge her at all and probably did not know her name as well, staring out the window dispassionately.

Her eyes, a cloudy white due to a dominant gene in her (embarrassingly) inbred family line, swept over the long forgotten paper. There were almost no red marks, and circled and written in red was 93. Her pride was nearly shattered.

'If I hadn't made these stupid mistakes, I'm sure I would have done better than him!' She thought dejectedly, unknowingly staring directly at his face. 'He made fatal mistakes with the order of operations and divided incorrectly. I just misread questions and forgot little things. I have to do better, I can't lose at something I already know.'

Her eyes traced his adam's apple, slightly protruding from his elegant neck. It amazed her how almost all boys her age had them. She wondered if those boys noticed she didn't have one.

Feeling her stare, he turned to face Hinata. For a second he looked her over, an emotionless face, before he spoke in a low, husky voice and a condescending tone. "Hyuuga-san, do you need something?"

'Ummmmm… what do I say?' Hinata thought quickly. "I was wondering what your name is. I forgot."

"Uchiha Sasuke." He mumbled, suddenly uninterested. It seemed he didn't actually care about her stare in the first place, just wanted to possibly embarrass her. Or perhaps, he was bored, and wished to taunt someone- that was half the reason he put up with Uzumaki Naruto. "You can call me Sasuke. I really don't care for formalities."

"Well, if you want Sasuke-san, you can call me by my first name Hinata. Or Hina, if Hinata seems too girly. It is a unisex name, but unfortunately for me more girls are called Hinata than boys." Hinata smiled, her act laid down seamlessly. She had it all- an explanation for her name, her girlish appearance, even an excuse for why she changed for gym in a stall- "I have been hit on by guys in the past, so I'm uncomfortable undressing around them".

Being a girl disguised as a boy in an all boy's boarding school was easier than most would expect. It did help that she didn't share her room with anyone, though.

"Whatever." Sasuke paused, a smug look upon his face. "Hinata-chan."

Her heart nearly stopped then and there, but she quickly recovered, lightly hitting Sasuke on the back.

"That's not funny, man!" She whined loudly. "Just because I was born premature and haven't gone through puberty doesn't mean you have the right to make fun of me!" She made sure to get that out- to make sure it was unquestionable that she was male. Hinata knew at least some of her classmates must be eavesdropping- wanting to know about the girly transfer student who barely talked.

Grinning, Sasuke went on, "You have such a girly voice, it isn't even cracking yet. How much longer until your balls drop?"

"…Honestly, I have no idea…" Hinata said in a soft tone with fake dejection, in her head snickering. 'What balls? Hah, he has no idea. Wow, it's so much easier talking to guy friends than girls. They're usually so blunt to other guys, so I can reply without over thinking or getting flustered.'

Sasuke burst out laughing deeply, gathering the looks of many classmates. He was usually silent, aside from a cocky remark or prickish comment dropped here and there, so his uncontrolled laughter was remarkably new.

"You're so pitiful, it's hilarious." Sasuke said, lightly smacking her in the back. His laughter reduced to controlled snickers quickly. "Where'd you go to school before here?"

"I was home schooled."

"You seem like it, very sheltered."

There was a shared moment of silence; it seemed natural to Sasuke but it unnerved Hinata. She looked him over, taking in his cocky expression still fixated upon his face.

'This guy's a prick.' Hinata thought to herself, rolling her eyes. Sasuke caught the movement of her eyes.

"You have a problem?"He spoke in a jerky tone, jeering at her. Sasuke obviously was trying to provoke her.

"Yes. I do. You're… a p-p-prick." Hinata caught her stutter with a blush. She had been so certain the stutter had been cured, but it came back up. After all, as a girl she would have never said that to someone's face, it was inappropriate and unladylike. However, people changed.

"So?" He rolled his eyes. "Not that big of a deal, just suck it up."

"Do you treat everyone like this?" Hinata said, halfway sarcastic and half annoyed. She had never encountered someone quite as arrogant or jerky as him. If this was how he treated his own gender, Hinata was certain that he was RUTHLESS to girls. But she kind of liked how he at least voiced his OWN opinion.

Sasuke paused, as if pondering the answer to the question. At this point, the teacher cleared his throat loudly. Hatake-sensei, a single middle aged man already sporting a full head of gray hair, stared the two down. He was notorious for being spotted reading pornographic books outside of class, so many of his students thought of him as a "true man, inside and out".

"Sasuke-kun, Hinata-kun," He drawled, his lazy eyes fixing upon them, "I hope you know we're supposed to be reviewing the test."

"Meh." Sasuke mumbled, sitting back in his seat and propping his legs up on top of it, "I got a 93. I don't need this crap."

"…Yes, you do." Kakashi sighed. He could care less that his student talked back, he was a laid back teacher, "This is the best grade you've gotten SO FAR. And Hinata-kun needs this review, don't bother him,"

Hinata's face flared up as Sasuke took a look at her paper, and looked at him to see the biggest grin she'd ever seen on this cocky dark haired boy's face.

"Che."

"Shut up."

"You suck."

"I'm just tired."

"Oh really? Well, you suck when you're tired then."

"Shut up."

"Why? Because you suck?"

"Shut up, you're acting like a five year old."

"Well, this five year old scored higher in algebra II than you."

"…"

"…"

"…you suck." Hinata mumbled softly, her pride shattering.

"Not as-"

"SASUKE. HINATA. How about both of you shut up? Or would you like to see Tsunade today? She's hungover _real_ bad today, and wants to take it out on someone." Kakashi snapped, glaring. His red eye glimmered, as if manifesting his anger.

Both shut up. Hinata sent Sasuke glares, which he gave back playfully. They sat next to each other, so it was **glaringly **obvious.

"…what an ass…" She mumbled, facing the board.

The bell rang. Kakashi sighed.

"Oh well, I don't really care. We'll go over this tomorrow." He announced, shrugging and retreating to his desk.

Hinata took her textbook out of her desk and put it into her bag. She had a black messenger bag, and was only one of the few who did so. The others had backpacks. Algebra II was the last class of the day, then she had to get to her club's first meeting, for MMA. Mixed Martial arts was the sport she excelled at- she was tall at 5'9, four inches above the average size of Japanese males, and was much more sturdy than her skinny frame called for.

Sasuke stood up next to her, and to her obvious happiness, she found she was two whole inches taller than him.

"Looks like the girly boy is taller than the great Uchiha Sasuke~" She taunted, grinning like a fool. Internally, she thanked whatever had given her such height, as it certainly didn't seem like genetics. Her father, mother, sister, cousin, and other relatives were shorter. How she had hit the goldmine was amazingly mysterious and random. But not bad.

"…damn it…" Sasuke mumbled, surprised. He hadn't noticed how tall she was before.

"Yeah. So, are you doing any clubs? I'm doing MMA." Hinata said pleasantly, glowing a bit. She felt great to have something Sasuke could argue- her height.

"Me too, actually. Heh, how much do you weigh?"

"I'm a lightweight, 152 pounds. I don't look it though, its almost all muscle." Hinata boasted, grinning. "A nice BMI of 22, but I don't look it."

"I'm barely a lightweight, 148 pounds. But I have a six pack, bet you don't." Sasuke boasted, lifting his shirt to reveal said abs.

"Man, that is awesome! I wish I had a six pack, but I'm a little chubby in the belly area." Hinata said, moping a little. Sasuke's pale but defined six pack amazed her; it looked amazing. Despite him being four pounds less, he was in her weight class, and with muscles like that she needed to keep careful if she ever faced against him.

"Well, let's head there together." Sasuke said, grinning.


End file.
